seeing as i'm currently in phoenix, arizona &life is very flat:

conversations between my sister and friend:

1.

friend: i spy something ugly.
amy: me. i spy something nonexistent.
friend: uhm...
amy: your brain.

2.

me: i didn't smile.
amy: that kind of why she said cheese.
friend: no, cheese means frown. pizza means smile.
amy: well, there's cheese on my pizza. what now?

otherwise, phoenix is nicer than wherever you are now. burn, puppies, burn.