1. and it's never as sad in retrospect

Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves - for growing up.

Miss you, Wendus.

2. irony that wins laughs not hearts

wishing birthday happiness to :: steph.bian(9.20) , josh.merel(926) , tim.wang(9.28)

3. the feeling the meaning that says reduce me to

Endurance. What is it?

Maybe it's reaching the end of a friendship.

You've fought about the same things time after time... you've cut the other person's heart with the sharpest blade you could muster. Tears have spilled... harsh words have been uttered as a last attempt to get the other person back. It's just easier to call it quits. Don't want to care anymore, don't want to fight anymore. It doesn't seem worth it anymore....

Maybe it's with your parents. They want too much - grades, perfect SAT scores, extracurricular activites... they just don't seem to understand the things going on your life. You've fought with them time and time again about what YOU value in life, and not what they want you to value. Grades soon become the only thing you strive for. It doesn't seem worth it.... just stopping and slacking off would prove your parents wrong.

Maybe it's spiritually. God wants too many things right now... and it just doesn't seem possible. Prayers seem to be ambiguous words said quickly before bedtime - even if you did pray wholeheartedly, it feels like you're talking to noone. QT times have been slipping... you don't know where to turn. You don't want to struggle anymore, you don't want to fight anymore... things seem so lost.

Endurance comes when you reach all of these points, and have the courage to go on.

What happens though... when you reach all of the points at the same time.... is a very hard situation to muster up enough courage to do anything at all.

hope everyone's holding out all right. find [/solace]